I suppose with all the sex talk and Rockstar drama I’ve posted, you may have forgotten that I actually love to read. So I decided to share the list of tomes that fed my brain this year. Unfortunately, for the most part, I have to say this year was the first that I could actually say I read a book and hated it. More than one, actually…
Waiter Rant by Steve Dublanica- Almost my life exactly, minus New York City. Lucky for him, his blog became lucrative.
Sex and the City by Candace Bushnell- I can honestly say the movie was better than the book. I was surprised to find the book had almost absolutely nothing to do with the HBO series that I so adore.
Sula by Toni Morrison- one of the many Oprah picks I own, I identified slightly with the title character, who is described as a “wanton seductress”. The only thing is, I don’t do it on purpose, and my skin is not chocolate-colored.
My Lesbian Husband by Barrie Jean Borich- a memoir by a lesbian English professor who lives with her lover in Minneapolis. She is very like me, except completely lesbian, a professor, and blonde.
I’m No Saint by Elizabeth Hayt- Sadly, this book did not stick in my brain at all. The only thing I remember is that I was greatly excited to buy a memoir about a naughty woman, only to find that whoredom is not all that interesting to read about.
Snuff by Chuck Palahniuk- Disgusting enough that I couldn’t stop reading. I often wonder if people have the same reaction to my blog…
The Lovely Bones by Alice Sebold- After finishing this, I couldn’t help but wonder what the hell all the fuss was about. Although I did like Alice’s take on Heaven.
Model by Cheryl Diamond- An enlightening memoir about the modeling business. Nothing you couldn’t learn by watching America’s Next Top Model, but it’s nice to know that plain looking tall skinny blondes with lazy eyes can make millions by walking down runways in next to nothing.
Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers- A nod to my Baptist upbringing, it was the only religious fiction book I could find that took a Biblical story about a hooker and turned it into a Western. Sadly, I was not as adoring as the other 750,000 people whom the book advertised having bought it.
Dolly: My Life and Other Unfinished Business by Dolly Parton- Just as amazing as the woman herself. Like her, my biggest vices are men, food, and sex. (Not necessarily in that order.)
One For the Money by Janet Evanovich- My friend Delightful lent me the first three, insisting that the main character Stephanie Plum was an exact replica of me. While I do not disagree with her, I am thoroughly convinced that if I had been cast in the movie instead of that weird looking blonde with the platypus mouth, they would have made the other 20 sequels.
Fifty Shades Trilogy by E.L. James- As big of a waste of time as the Twilight books. I am sorry I spent time reading this swill instead of writing proper smut for you all to read.
The Host by Stephanie Meyer- Congratulations to Steph for not repeating the mistakes she made in Twilight, New Moon, Eclipse, and Breaking Dawn. I actually want to see this movie.
Phenomenal Woman by Maya Angelou- Can four poems be considered a book?
The Gods of Asphalt by H.E. Ellis- Because she is my future wife, she let me read it for free. Let me tell you a secret: It’s worth paying for.
Choke by Chuck Palahniuk- A friend of mine had been reading every publication of good ol’ Chuck. I have yet to see why he was so enamored by his writings.
Well, I think that about does it. On a normal year, there would have been many more titles in my list, but seeing as I’m the head Pizza Slut lately, I haven’t the time. Besides, if I’m having the time, I should really be writing things that all of YOU can put on your lists!
Sparklebumpsthebookwhore 