Tag Archives: coworkers

Lost in a Sea of Teens


My new serving job is amazing.

I can go to work, and not worry about “corporate standards” as I had to as a Pizza Slut. I’m quite certain that I (who very rarely wore my nametag) could provide you with better service than any of those ninnies who insisted on wearing their nametags because it was a “standard”. But enough about that.

I can go to work, and not worry about an inspector showing up and ruining my shift. Not because an inspector is not likely to show up at my new place of business, but because I am no longer in a position of power, so if there is something amiss, it’s not really my problem. Is it weird that I revel in my lack of power?

I go to work, and have never left with less money than I expected to make on any given shift. In fact, I have been pleasantly surprised by people’s generosity. I will absolutely brag about the fact that I received not one, but two $20 tips from tables who’s bills were less than $90. Yay me.

My longest shift is now not more that seven hours long, (unless I choose to stay longer for one of the many teen girls who lack work ethic), and my managers do not poopoo my opinions, but listen to them wholeheartedly.

That being said, there was one issue that I thought would bug the crap out of me.

The oldest server I work with on a regular basis is 22.

Imagine me, upbeat(most of the time) Sparkle, seeming to have like, OMG, no energy whatsoever when surrounded by my coworkers. No, I have not jumped on the depression bandwagon; it’s just that such younglings are brimming with such life and promise, and talk of prom, that sometimes I feel like an old dried-up spinster. There is one thing that makes working with such innocents bearable: they are actually all nice.

There is also an upside to having such coworkers: the Glee-like drama is interesting to observe, indeed. Now, instead of watching such scenes from the comfort of my own living room, I now get to play the part of the older, much wiser (ha) woman these youth might one day look up to or come to for advice. I would actually advise them NOT to do that.

Anyhoo, since high school is long behind me, I had forgotten what stock teenage girls put in their looks, and their weight, and their weekends. Yep, I’ll work for you so you can go out with your fake ID with your senior boyfriend on Friday night because I have a $600 electric bill to pay. Sure, I’ll stay late for you so you can go find a pair of perfect shoes to go with your $600 prom dress daddy paid for, because I have to buy groceries for my beloveds.

It’s weird, because I thought I was shallow. At least I have pretty people to look at when I go to work.

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Filed under Beauty, Children, Humor, Life, Uncategorized, Work

Like Ability


So I got to work yesterday and Frenchie had some surprising news for me. (No, he is not willing to give me a million dollars if I flash my boobies at him.)

“Day Lady REALLY┬álikes you. This is the third time this week that she’s mentioned it. She also can’t understand why Scary Driver Woman hates you.”

I will explain.

Firstly, of course Day Lady and Scary Driver Woman are not their actual names; however, I haved learned from past experience that using actual names will come back to bite me in the ass.

So. Day Lady is a co-worker that I’ve only had the pleasure of meeting in the past week. She’s been employed at my place of business for 25 years, the end result being that she is understandably bitter. Before making her aquaintance, I was warned by nearly every other employee of this woman’s…. less-than-friendly demeanor. As it turns out, she just expects people to do their jobs. I am assuming that she likes me because I do mine in a satisfactory manner.

Now, Scary Driver Lady is another matter.

I was also forewarned about her, and luckily. A few people mentioned her irritating voice. What they failed to mention is how closely it resembles the squeals of a live swine being pushed through a running meat grinder ass-first. The ear-piercing shrieks this woman emits most certainly cause all the dogs in the closest 7 counties to howl uncontrollably. I have been lucky enough that the temporary deafness her voice causes in humans has kept me from hearing said hounds. The shrillness of her voice is only made worse by the constant bitching that she does- pointing out how superior HER work habits are. At all costs, I try to refrain from coming in direct contact with her. There was unfortuneately one incident where she sought me out to inform me that I was neglecting to do part of my duties. Only later did my other fellow employees let me know that she was bull-shitting me, and the duties she had mentioned were, in fact, her job.

These two women, while together, engage in bitch sessions, going back and forth about the utter stupidity of the rest of the employees. However, Day Lady has found me quite likeable, for some reason. Frenchie,┬ámy other manager Awesome (so named because she can single-handedly put together pizzas for the entire town of St Cloud on a Friday night) and I have been trying to figure out the reasoning Scary Driver Lady has for disliking moi. Awesome is convinced it’s a jealousy thing, (since I am so amazingly beautiful, you know) and Frenchie thinks it’s because I refuse to do her job for her. Since from what I can tell, she dislikes EVERYBODY, I just think she lacks the Like Ability.

P.S. As I pointed out to Frenchie, there is really no reason for anybody not to like me.

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Filed under Beauty, Friendship, Humor, Life, Uncategorized, Work