For Sale
One mentally-maladjusted individual; slightly used. No dents.
All natural triple DDD’s included.
Measures out at 5’3″ and a 1/4.
Goes by the pseudonym “Sparklebumps”. Also responds to “Crazy Bitch”.
Runs like a dream when re-fueled with copious amounts of sugar or french fries.
Fits in a size 9 shoe- ass looks best when in a 5″+ stilletto.
Requires attention, regular orgasms, flattery, and books to operate properly.
Has supplied many hours of marathon sex, laughter, and stress-inducing behavior.
Can provide music, magnificent bedroom play, hugs, and trivia answers.
Horniness and entertaining buffoonery greatly heightened when provided with alcohol.
Hysteria may result if not suitably boned daily.
$6,000,000 or best offer.
Will consider newer model Mustangs and European castles on trade.
Contact Sparklebumps c/0 Rockstar at 867-5309 or via comments.
Series queries only please. Will not respond to bill collectors and/or IRS personel.
Sparklebumpsthebookwhore 