The Business of Lullabies

I do not fancy myself a superb singer. I will never be that girl who sends chills down people’s spines when I hit that one note, because it’s pretty damn certain I won’t ever hit that one note. Believe me, I’ve tried. No crowds will ever fill Madison Square Garden just because I’m there to sing; although I have no doubt that my Rockstar, my brother, and I will fill it when we finally start our band. I can carry a tune, and sound better than about half the people you hear attempting to sing, including Taylor Swift. Nevertheless, I fully intend to sing to my baby once he gets here. I just hope my doing so will not cause more tears than are normally expected from a baby.

The more I think about it, the more I realize that the songs I use as lullabies may very well be the songs my baby uses as lullabies to his own children someday, if he has any. (The continued use of male pronouns in reference to my baby are my way of using osmosis to decide his gender for him. He has no legs yet, so there is no way he has yet sprouted a teeny tiny penis. But I will continue to try to sway him.) Or, if nothing else, they will be songs he fondly remembers as ones his crazy mother sang to him because she loved him. Either way, this is not business that should be taken lightly. Music is the poetry of sound. So instilling in my baby a vast library of musical genres is a must. So far, here is my lullaby list:

For standards, I’ve only yet come up with two:

1. Over the Rainbow

2. Baby Mine from Dumbo

Moving along to somewhat newer music:

3. Let It Be by The Beetles

4. You’re Beautiful by James Blunt (Sidenote: As this James Blunt song is about a girl who is addicted to drugs, I feel that I may only sing the chorus so as not to introduce my babe to such evility prematurely.)

5. Jesus Loves Me

6. Give Me Love by Jasmine Cain (a mostly-independent artist, but a great song)

7. I’ll Be There by The Jackson 5 (or Mariah Carey, if you prefer)

8. True Colors by Cyndi Lauper

9. The Rainbow Connection by Kermit the Frog (a song my uncle used to sing to me when I was small)

10. Silent Night (a Christmas song, sure, but what better to sing about than the night I hope to have?)

11. Love is Forever by Slaughter

12. Unconditionally by Katy Perry

13. Unchained Melody by the Righteous Brothers

This is only a start, so I open my lullaby list to those of you in blogland, so speak now. Just know that Rob Zombie and Iron Maiden will have to wait just a year or two.

Costumed

So. It’s about that time when I need to start thinking about what I’m going to be for Halloween. I realize it’s only February, and being the Libra that I am, I will certainly change my mind a thousand times before my favorite holiday, but it’s never too soon to start planning a fabulous costume…. Also, my costume choices come in categories, as you will see- because there are just SO many different things one can dress up as. Once I have a place big enough, I will no doubt throw a costume party monthly, but until then, I shall just have to continue planning future awesome costumes…

Costumes that give a nod to the cartoons of my youth:

Shera: I will tell you something now- Shera is frickin’ awesome, People! You have no idea how many hours I spent with my male cousins pretending to be Shera saving their equally-pretending He-Man asses. In all honesty, I preferred being He-Man back then, but since he lacks a shirt, I can’t exactly dress up like him for Halloween, now can I?

Smurfette: The only female in a sea of men…. it’s surprising how alike Smurfette and I are. Sadly, I have seen many renditions of a Smurfette costume, and no one seems to be able to procure the right shade of blue for their skin.

Miss Piggy: I actually thought of this one because I considered being Dolly Parton this past year, (that didn’t work out very well, because I was broke) and really, the only difference between the two is a pig schnoz. Also, I already have long purple gloves from my Jessica Rabbit costume. (How very green of me to re-use my costume accessories.)

Costumes I’d consider if I actually lost 40 lbs:

The Little Mermaid: The most beautiful of ALL the Disney princesses, (and the only one cool enough to have a tail) I would find it highly entertaining to scuttle around in a sequined tail and some seashells for the night. I also already have a wig that would work. Sadly, I’d have to work on my abs before I dressed as Ariel, otherwise I would more resemble her enemy Ursula.

Princess Leia in the Gold Bikini: I had to specify which Princess Leia there, because I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing a Cinna-Bun hairdo. I would find it fascinating to dress up as 30-40 yr old men’s fantasies everywhere….

Catwoman: I would only consider this because the bull whip and the leather outfit would come in very handy the rest of the year.

Mystique from X-men: I think I subconsiously want to dye my skin blue… Anyhoo, you all know Mystique is the coolest X-man, her being basically naked and scaly and all. I’m not sure I could find anyone willing to paint me blue though… anybody?

Celebrities worth dressing up as:

Dolly Parton (The 80’s version): This doesn’t really need an explanation. I have the assets and I like to be sparkly and wear copious amounts of makeup.

Cyndi Lauper: I’ll take any chance I can to dress up in a newspaper skirt and shave half of my head.

Lady GaGa: Because there are so many costumes to choose from. And it’s good to keep up with the current times, you know.

Michael Jackson (with the sparkle glove): Because he’s awesome (even though he’s dead) and a test on Facebook once told me I looked exactly like him. It would also be a good excuse to go around grabbing my crotch and shrieking, “Hee-Hoo!!!!”

I guess that’s about all I can think of for now, but if anyone has any awesome suggestions….