Woohoo! 2 postings in one day! Aren’t you all so lucky? Here is a poem a wrote in the height of my depression days. That’s the thing about unmedicated bi-polarism. You end up with poems like this. Enjoy!
Shitty black days with the sun beating down,
my brain screams in agony
and sneering smiles are all around.
All I want is to tear those smiles up.
Coming down from a high
when there was no substance abuse
The thought slams into my mind,
How can I be of so little use?
Nothing. Nothing. Nothing.
It hails down on my heart
the realization of never having made a mark.
It matters not if They say
“You matter. We care.”
Doesn’t matter. Not today.
Say what you want.
it don’t mean a thing.
Piece of shit. Sinner. Cunt.
In my ears,my true names ring.
Sick, twisted anger.
These are what is left.
The only feelings there.
Maybe if for one split second
I could feel the warmth of God’s face;
but all I feel is the lick of Devil’s tongue.
And hate has taken loves place.
“Fuck him!” the furies of my head scream.
Satan’s whore. They know what I am.
But I’ll make it a dream.
I’ll don a mask of perfect peace and smile,
though I feel his teeth ripping my guts;
til a Bleeding. Broken. Heart.
is the only thing that remains.