1. You don’t have to wear clothes to work. In fact, you are tipped to take them off.
2. You don’t have to get up early in the morning.
3. You have people telling you all day every day how sexy and/or gorgeous you are.
4. You can buy many many many items off of the dollar menu at McDonald’s.
5. You get to wear awesome shoes. And glitter.
6. Strippers almost always smell amazing, and have very soft skin. (I know this because girls are allowed to touch.)
7. If you don’t like a customer, you can tell security that he’s a creeper, and they’ll kick him out. (I wish I had security like that at my work.)
8. You can afford to buy lots of candy. And a Ford Mustang.
9. You get to shove your boobies in people’s faces daily. (You may not understand the thrill, but having them serve a purpose other than getting in the way would be lovely.)
10. You get to call yourself whatever you want. (Princess Mystique has a nice ring to it. Who else is named after royalty AND an X-Man?)