Stress Outlet

It’s happened.
I have become like everyone else.
To quote Inigo Montoya- “Let me sum up.”
I have always prided myself on the fact that I do not outwardly stress about things. While stressed women everywhere are going around being grumpy bitches who lash out at unassuming spouses, and retail associates, and Pizza Sluts, I have always (mostly) remained calm and sensible. (I think) Sadly, due to circumstances beyond my control, I seem to be melting into one of those terrible harpies.
While I cannot deny that being the head Pizza Slut has immensely helped to pay off the $2800 I owed to Victoria’s Secret, the bullshit that comes along with it has worn thin what little sanity I possessed initially.
Add to that the fact that my Ex (and every other person of child-bearing age) is having a baby, and that it’s been almost a month since Christmas and I have yet to give my friend Delightful her Christmas present, and my beloved brother keeps calling me and I haven’t energy to have a four-hour-long phone conversation with him, and my Rockstar’s Daughter decided to freak out at me this morning because I told her to brush her teeth….
*breathbreathbreathbreath*
My once-curly hair has become an outlet for my stress. True, having bleached it in order to dye it a beautiful Little Mermaid-esque color probably didn’t help, but in the last week, it’s become ‘Fro Nation up in here. And not the good kinda ‘fro. Imagine luminous red flames being smothered by the foam of a powerful fire extinguisher, and you have perfectly imagined the coiffure that sits upon my head. My hair is simply relaying to the world exactly what I’m feeling in my over-thinking head and my exhausted heart. So the question is, if I shave it all off, will the stress go away?

Adaptation

Because of my precarious teeterage on the edge of destitution this week, I am unable to buy proper hair care products. Instead, because of the disaster on my head known as hair, I am forced to wear braided pigtails to minimize the frizz. Move over, Dorothy, Sparklebumps is in town…