Tag Archives: Hugs

I Wanna, I Wanna, I Wanna…


Yes, that was a Spice Girls reference. I am not ashamed to admit my sometimes horrid and unmusical taste in music. So there.

I had a conversation with a co-worker the other night, and he seems to think I let my own wants and likes go by the wayside more often than I should. His theory is based on what he has perceived of my life, and loosely based on things I’ve mentioned  in passing conversation.

I got to thinking about his statement, and about relationships. When a person is in a relationship with another person, is there not always a few likes and wants that are at times pushed aside by the other person’s likes and wants? Relationships are all about compromise, or so I’ve been told. I just happen to be more compromising than some people. And to be honest, I don’t think I’ve ever met any couple that has absolutely every like or desire in common. They may say it, but that doesn’t make it true.

Mayhap it’s because I’m a Libra, or bi-polar, or just all-out insane, but I am completely inept at making decisions. Although, once I have made them, I am much too stubborn to go back and change my mind. At least on the important things. Perhaps that is why I somewhat depend on the person I’m in a relationship with to make the big decisions.

Of course there are things I like. When asked, I would say I like books, and hugs. Throw in a little (or a lot) of sex, music, and some quiet time, and my life is mostly complete. I think it’s safe to say that these are all things that in no way interfere with or override my Rockstar’s likes or wants. In fact, sex can only increase the quality of his life, as can books. (If he actually reads them.) The only thing I may like that he isn’t necessarily prepared to give is excessive amounts of attention. (But then again, is anyone in the world ready to give me as much as I want? I think not.)

I tried to explain my complications to my coworker. I am convinced that if I were single, or in any way unattached, I would be dead within a year or two. I think to much when I am alone, (my Rockstar agrees with me completely on that), and honestly I don’t like myself enough to actually care about what happens to me, so alcoholism, addiction, and aids would probably all kill me eventually. Perhaps this is why I desire a child, or ten- if I had them, I’d have someone that needs me. (Right now, I take care of my Rockstar and his Daughter, but I am unconvinced he actually NEEDS me- which is as it should be, since he is 42.)

Enough of this rambling. To quote Juno, all I really want is someone who even through my worst “still thinks the sun shines out my ass.” All the other shit is just filler.

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Filed under Humor, Life, Love, music, Sex, Uncategorized

A Perfect World: A Sparklebumps Daydream


I was thinking today about what the world would be like if it were exactly the way I think it should be. Of course, the normal ideas of no war, or hate, or prejudice came to mind, but as lovely as that sounds, those weren’t exactly new and original enough to get my heart pumping at an accelerated and excitable rate. I’m certain there will be a few raised eyebrows from some that read what I would constitute as Perfect World Ideas, but then- would it be a Sparklebumps post if there weren’t? 😉

1. People would express their…. physical emotions without the fear of jealousy, envy, and homicidal tendencies exuding from their significant others.

In translation, if a person met someone and the two felt a mutual physical attraction, they could feel free to act on that without their spousal/girlfriend/boyfriend companion yelling and shedding the Tears of One Scorned. I realize this could possibly be the most absurd idea you’ve ever heard, and would probably result in a world full of people fucking numerous and infinitismal amounts of people, but isn’t that happening anyway? You never know what could happen if you would have banged that hot chic that was making eyes at you at Walgreens while you were waiting to pay for your Colon Cleanse. Maybe you’d be living happily ever after with her and your harpy wife….

2. Instead of smiles and handshakes, people would greet others with hugs.

Just think, if you had to hug everyone you came into contact with, you’d make sure you were well-cleaned and smelling fresh always, wouldn’t you? In my opinion, this idea can only result in a world full of beautifully-scented individuals. It would perhaps also brighten many people’s days.

3. There would be a International World Unity Day.

Instead of having a Gay Pride Parade, or a Republican National Convention, every single person would set aside the ideas that make them different from each other, and remember that we are all human, (or mutant) and grab a beer, or a non-offensive carbonation-free beverage, and shoot the shit.

4. There would be no money.

Have you ever watched those zombie apocalypse movies or end of the world films and thought to yourself, “It’d be totally awesome just to be able to go borrow whatever you needed from the local grocery store.”? If we could just barter and borrow and share the things we had, wouldn’t things be alot easier? You know, like I could just go to the Ford Dealer and let the salesman know I’d bring that Boss Mustang back after a joy ride? Keep in mind, I haven’t thought about the economical fallbacks of this plan…

5. Everyone would be read to as a child.

It seems to be that those who have been read to as children grow up with a more developed vocabulary and a excelled wish for knowledge. It would be lovely if I never had to hear the words, “I seen that happen.” offend me from someone’s mouth ever again.

6. People would be truthful and direct with everyone. And they wouldn’t be offended.

If you didn’t like someone, you would tell that person, so they could do their best to stay away from you, instead of you pretending to be that person’s friend and then going to Joe Blow and backstabbing said disliked person.

Also, if your girlfriend asked you if she looks fat in this, you could say yes without fear of your balls being removed while you sleep.

7. Taylor Swift, Michael Bolton, Kristin Stewart, Stephanie Meyer, and other Ass Clowns of Questionable Talent would be rightfully quarantined to an island on the Moon.

 

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Because Tomorrow Is Another Day…


Oops, I mean today is another day. If you want to be technical and all.

My day yesterday didn’t really start out so great.

Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I lost my pants.

No, I did NOT have my Rockstar around to rip them off of me, if that’s what you thought I meant.

I meant that I couldn’t find my extra pair of work pants, and my main pair was dirty. I didn’t have enough time in the morning to throw a load of laundry in before work, so as I stood there pants-less, I washed the dirty pair by hand that I dug out of the mountain of dirty clothes that has accumulated (because I’m working 11 hour days now)  and proceeded to  dry them with the hair dryer. (Very classy) Then off to work I went.

I am quite certain that my foul mood throughout the day was at least partially due to the fact that my Rockstar has been in South Dakota since Friday. I miss him, and I am becoming increasingly horny at every moment. So when I  was working as a Pizza Slut today, and it was very busy, and the cook we had is evolving from a turtle (I’m quite certain of this) and I found out I got to close with Little Miss Attitude tonight, it is quite understandable that I (to put it mildly) was ready to strap a bomb to my chest and blow the Hut to smithereens.

The very special highlight of my day was when Delightfulness came in to do her orientation, and I got to give her a hug. (Two, in fact.) Her smiling face and fierce glam-rock outfit made me happy. And then she went away. And the day returned to Hell.

Oops, Frenchy forgot to schedule another server. More money for me- or so we thought. We proceeded to (in Awesome’s words) receive the ass-pounding of our lives, complete with short-staffedness. This in itself would not have been such a disaster, (since I don’t mind a nice ass pounding every now and then) but the fact that Little Miss Attitude was “managing” meant that I got to spend the night doing everybody else’s jobs.

(Little Miss Attitude is 18, and attempting to procure her place as a shift-manager. The only reason she is still semi-managing is because I haven’t had time to do all my training yet. She spends her shifts eating Cinnamints, standing around, babbling about God-knows-what to anyone who will listen, and generally bossing people around while maintaining her laziness. When she becomes angry, or upset, her language shifts to Ebonics, and no one can understand her.)

After the harshest part of the ass-pounding, I tried my damndest to get my shit done and get the hell out of there. Sadly, people kept streaming in at various intervals; the dishes were so piled up in back I could not add one more plate to them; and the phone kept ringing.

While I was cleaning the John(s), a couple came in and stood there for several minutes. Little Miss did not acknowledge them in any way, nor did she find it necessary to come and tell me there were customers to wait on. When I came out of the loo, I apologized profusely to said customers and gave them extra superb service. Then I went in back to throw about a billion dishes in the dishawasher.

When this couple came up to pay, the two other people working did not feel like getting the register, and so yelled for me. (Because apparently I’m the only one who can help customers) The couple asked where the manager was, and commented on the fact that I seemed to be the only one actually doing work. (I’m glad someone noticed.) The woman informed me that she would be making a call to Frenchie in the tomorrow to inform him of his misfit employees. Then back to the dishes I went.

I paused for less than thirty seconds at one point, only to have Little Miss berate me and tell me to get going on my shit. Yes. I blew half a gasket. I informed her that I was working my ass off and she told me to quit my attitude. (Insert expletive here)

After I had most of my duties accomplished, Little Miss informed me (for the third time) that many boxes needed to be folded before I departed. I did quite a few, and then thought “You know what? I have to be back here in less than 11 hours. I shall do more boxes in the morning.” Little Miss went on to say that 100 more boxes needed to be folded, and I informed her of my plan to do them in the morning. She said, “I don’t care what you’re going to do in the morning; they need to be done tonight. If you don’t do them, I’m gonna write you up.” Fuckin’ write me up.

In general, I believe that when a manager tells you to do something, you should do it. In fact, I think that you should go above and beyond what is requested of you. That may be the reason I washed 200 dishes when that was not my job to do, and did my best to leave the store as clean as I would leave my house, despite having worked a 13 hour day with no break, (or meal). But I’m sorry. If I say that I will do whatever it is that is requested, (even if I plan on doing it the next day) and I get told I’m going to be written up- FUCK THAT SHIT. I left.

Tomorrow (or today) will be better. Because it couldn’t possibly be any fucking worse.

P.S. I cannot be completely disappointed in the day. I DID make $107 in tips.

P.P.S. I would like to state that this post is not a complaint. It is stating  fact. I appreciate having a job when so many others don’t.

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Filed under Humor, Life, Uncategorized, Work

What We Need


 

I just bought a $5 coffee from Caribou. Which means I had to work for 45 minutes in order to pay for it. That was very frivolous of me. Luckily, I have cut it down to once or twice a week. There was a time not too long ago when I stopped at Caribou Coffee every day on the way to work. In the age of  designer coffee, you are just not cool if you don’t get one every day, right?

I will maybe never be one of those people who makes a 6 figure salary, but if I am, I will remember those days when I was making $12,000 a year and maybe that will remind me of what I really need. I admit, I have a fetish for shoes and books, which tends to make me a bit short on cash at the end of the month, but I always make sure to have toilet paper. I also make sure I have enough dollars to buy groceries so I can cook  semi-decent meals for my Beloveds. It may seem like a small thing, but I don’t mind passing up a pair of leopard- print heels so I can take care of my family. I know that matters more than what I have on my feet.

When I was a waitress, I always had cash on hand, which many times resulted in me buying $20 worth of candy. (Candy is my favorite food) I was quite incautious with my money, which has really come back to bite me in the ass. I am proud to say that I never acquired a credit card with a $20,000 limit, although I DID end up owing $2800 on my Victoria’s Secret card. (That’s alot of lingerie.) It wasn’t until I left my husband and was living in an apartment sleeping on pillows that I had realized how remiss I had been in my saving. I am sad to say I haven’t really gotten much better since then, but I haved vowed to work on it. Basically, I urge every one of you wther you make $5000 a year or $1,000,000,  to think about it the next time slap down a credit card to buy a pair of $250 shoes or spend $100 at a fancy restaraunt. They say money doesn’t buy happiness, and I believe it, because I’ve known a few wealthy people who have just as much worry about bills as I do. Remember to go outside and check out the sunset, or to relish the feel of a lover’s kiss, and always give hugs, because those things are free, and you will feel better than if you have someone compliment the outfit you spend oodles on. And maybe, after you bask in the delight of the little things, go and get a $5 coffee with extra whip cream. XOXO

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