Tag Archives: Maya Angelou

Inspirational? More Like Perspirational


very-inspring

Thanks to Erin and her ass, I’ve been nominated for the Very Inspirational Blogger Award. As I sit here dripping with sweat, (haha, I know you all were thinking I’d be dripping something else) I cannot help but think that just maybe she meant to endow me with the Perspirational Blogger Award. I realize that 80 degrees sounds lovely, but here in Minnesota, 80 degrees is the equivilant of 120 degrees, and causes a permanent river of sweat to flow betwixt my considerable she-mountains. Anyhoo, I digress.

I’ve received enough awards in bloggerville to sufficiently have bored you all with facts concerning moi. So, instead of writing another seven things about me nobody except Art cares about, (haha) I shall list seven people who have inspired me to be… well, me.

1. Maya Angelou.

Maya is not on my list because she has just recently passed. I loved her long before she was spoken of in the past tense. As I read her six biographical books, I realized that perhaps someday, if I have as much courage and pizzazz as she, people might actually want to read my story as well. Though I will never be able to weave words together quite the way that she did.

2. Angelina Jolie.

Incidentally, Angelina’s movie Maleficent released today, after a long wait of almost FOUR years. I’m dragging my Rockstar to it tonight! (YAYAYAYAYAY!!!!!!) Anyhoo, Angelina is beautiful, (I don’t care what any of you say) and she always has been to me. You all know how she is, so I will not go to great lengths to explain my reasons. Suffice to say that she is someone I would love to be friends with. (And maybe more, if she would so have me.)

3. Dolly Parton

Because she’s 127, and is still awesome. If you disagree, you suck.

4. My Auntie.

Because she does so much for everyone else, yet still finds time for herself, and will always listen to anyone who needs her to.

5. My Rockstar.

He inspires me to live up to my potential, even if it is by semi-rudely telling me to quit being lazy. I know he adores me, despite the fact that he refuses to verbally say so, which inspires me to get him to the point where he will say it aloud. Too, he inspires me to wash the dishes, which can never be a bad thing.

6. King David.

If you don’t know who that is, you should read your Bible more often. He inspires me, (even though he is really quite dead) because he wasn’t perfect, yet God still loved him immensely. He is proof that even a fuck-up is worthy of God’s fondness.

7. All the boys in the world. (And some of the girls.)

Even though I have my Rockstar, I do not deny the fact that I adore being adored. These boys (and girls) inspire me to actually shower most days, and to put a little (and sometimes a lot) of effort into how I look, as time-consuming as it is. Too, the smarties of the world who are not moved by just a pretty face inspire me to keep learning, because you just never know when you might run into an attractively-intelligent person you wish to converse with. And many of them don’t give a hoot about the Kardashians.

As for the rest of the rules concerning winning an award, I don’t do that shit. Just click on someone who has commented on my blog, because obviously they are very wise.

XOXO

 

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A Farewell to Maya Angelou


My heart is breaking.

It seems silly, to say such a thing because someone you’ve never met has passed away.

But here I sit, silent tears pouring down my face. Tears for the magnificent collection of words that will no longer be sculpted and forged by your contemplative hands.

I see them, all those syllables, lying in a heap at my feet, and think that they look just a little bit forlorn, knowing they were not the chosen ones to be plucked for your masterpieces.

Of course, now that you are gone, you will be wildly popular.

It always vexes me that so many are paid attention to so greatly in death.

People will say, “Oh! Have you read all of her memoirs? She was quite a woman. Phenomenal, in fact.”

I will shake my head, not because the answer is no, but because I have known these things far longer than they, and am sorry they have lost out on all that time they too could have known your words.

You were proud, and not afraid to say so, yet you prayed for humility.

I will feed your ego now, and not fault you if you strut around arrogantly just a little bit in Heaven.

I am afraid there will never be another like you.

Someone who is so unapologetically truthful, and unconventionally beautiful.

Someone who will say words just as they are thought, but in such a way that causes a violent reaction, one of delight, or love, or anger, or wistfulness.

I will forever be sorry I never had the honor of meeting you, and hope that one day in the future, when I pass through those Pearly Gates, I might see you nod your head at me, just so I know that you know I heard you.

XOXO

From one Phenomenal Woman to Another

 

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Standing Out


Here was my autotopic of choice for the week:

In what ways do you stand out?

I could mention the obvious two (DDD’s) but you already know that.

So let me think for a moment…

I find myself to be very amusing to myself, which in turn amuses other people. Especially when I’m drunk. Only the people who’s bubbles I invade do not find me amusing.

I will always tell you what I think, but if it comes out before I can edit it in my mind, I will usually apologize for it and re-issue my opinion after further thought.

I will never be in a relationship based on the amount of dollars the man brings home on payday. I’ve considered rethinking this one, but I am much to impractical and romantic to change my mind.

I do not think that gold lame’ is only for Halloween.

My hair color changes very frequently. Oft times quite dramatically as well.

My Rockstar says I have the style of a New Yorker, which is unfortunate, since I live smack dab in the middle of Stretchy Pants and T-shirtville.

I play an instrument, and better than decently.

I can have sex like a man. (i.e. wham, bam, thank you, ma’am…or sir. I’ll call you.)

I have no bubble and I will hug…pretty much anybody. With their permission. Usually.

I prefer driving a stick shift; I can change a tire; and I know how to change my oil. (But I wait for my Rockstar to do it.)

I wore a pink wedding dress.

I’ve been told my face is different, unique, odd-looking, and ethnic. (Not all at once.)

I am maybe the only person I know who is trying to decide wether to join the army or go to beauty school.

I aced Biology, even though I didn’t dissect the rat. Or the frog. Or the piglet.

I would like to be friends with my Rockstar’s exes.

I would give my life for anybody if the opportunity presented itself.

“Life doesn’t frighten me, not at all.” (Thank you for putting my thoughts into words, Maya Angelou)

There are 47 other reasons I stand out, and they all fit on my feet.

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