Tag Archives: reading

It’s Time To Read


Shame on my Rockstar and his Daughter’s Mother, for now this is the conversation I get to endure EVERY TIME we attempt to sit down and read with his Daughter:

Me: OK! Let’s pick a book! How ’bout Dr. Seuss?

Her: *giving me the look of death* ┬áNO! I’m NOT reading!

Me: Well, I guess you want to waste all day arguing about it then. You know you have to read for half an hour every day.

Her: I don’t WANNA! I wanna play!

Me: Well, you can go play after this book. Come on, we’ll do every other page. You read one, then I’ll read one.

Her: FINE. But I’m NOT reading for a half hour.

Me: Whatever.

Her: (after closely inspecting whatever book to see how many pages there are) This book is LONG! I’m NOT reading the whole thing!

Me: *maintaining patience. Barely* Just reading. You know, you’d have 5 pages read already if you’d just do it.

Her: (after rolling aroung, crinkling pages, sighing, and finally settling on leaning against me) gjpsodg ue fseegfhaosd

Me: WHAT? If you can’t read it so I can understand you, I’m going to make you read it again.

Her: (noticing the next page is shorter) You read this page, and I’ll read the next page.

Me: *deep breath* If you don’t start reading, I’m going to make you read the WHOLE thing. Read.

After a few pages…

Her: (rubbing eyes and wriggling around irritatingly) I’m not going to read anymore.

Me: Well, I guess we’re going to sit here in silence then. You know you could be playing right now.

Her: Mom doesn’t make me read!

Me: And that’s why you’re failing all your classes. Read.

Her: (after reading one word, she sits in silence, waiting for me to read the next word) I don’t know that word.

Me: Sound it out.

Her: I don’t KNOW it!

Me: Make a sound then. If you make a sound, I’ll help you.

After extensive prodding, we do finally get to the end of the book. And believe me, I am as relieved as she. It’s a good thing I dye my hair, because THIS every weekend will surely turn me grey.

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Filed under Books, Children, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Uncategorized

A Kid Story


So my Rockstar’s daughter doesn’t like to read. If you know anything about me, you will realize what a tragedy this is. Anyway, I wrote a story about her, hoping maybe she would get into reading. Sadly, since I didn’t include pictures, she wasn’t interested. Since I have nothing of import to post today, I shall let you all read it.

Last Wednesday, Emily Madison awoke with a jump

and she sat up real quick,

because she heard a great THUMP.

And she felt it too!

For there on her head,

all lumpy and warty,

sat a toad, calm as could be,

acting as though her head was some kind of party.

She opened her mouth to let out a yell

and you never would guess what happened!

Well, a bird flew right in there!

It’s true! I swear!

That bird flew right into her mouth without care.

Now, I have never woke up

with a toad on my head;

neither have I had a bird in my mouth while

I’m sitting in bed.

But I can imagine it would be quite hard to say,

“Help me!” or “What’s this?”

or something like, “Hey!”

Emily Madison, she huffed and she puffed,

but the only thing that even almost came out was, “MMMPPFF!”

That bird in her mouth was stuck in there good.

And the toad on her head wasn’t going anywhere, too.

So, Emily Madison thought hard as she could, and I must say, with the toad and the bird, that wasn’t easy to do!

She thought harder and harder, ’til her thinker was blue,

What could she; what couldn’t she; oh! what would she do?!

If she went off to school with this toad and this bird,

everyone there would think her simply absurd!

And really, that bird wasn’t tasting so great.

When it’s feathers tickled her nose, she gave her head a small shake,

and then, THEN…. “A-A-A-CHOOOOO!”

She sneezed. Then BOTH the bird and the toad flew!

With a PLA-PLA-PLA-PLOOEY!

Emily spit out a feather, and screamed at the top of her voice,

“Well, I NEVER!!!!!!”

Emily Madison never did quite know why

that morning that toad and that bird had stopped by.

But from that morning on, when she got tucked in at night-

She put on a hat, and she shut her mouth TIGHT!

THE END

 

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Filed under Books, Children, Entertainment, Family, Humor, Life, Uncategorized