Tag Archives: surveys

Team Member Assessment

Happy Thursday, my Lovelys! Thanks for all the birthday wishes! It was a perfect day filled with pizza, peach schnapps, sex, Chris Meloni,  (unfortunately the 2 previous were not intermingled) and getting hired as a Pizza Slut. Yes, I am now privileged employee of Pizza Hut- I think because I told my new boss Christophe (I believe him to be Yugoslavian, perhaps) that if he wanted to call me he’d have to call the bookstore because I am too poor to pay my phone bill. (Tricksy, ain’t I?) So, yay me! Tonite I have orientation. Before I was interviewed, though, I had to fill out a Team Member Assessment Survey. Let me just give you my opinion of those…

Team Member Assessment: Def. A little form businesses that are chains have come up with to weed out the nuts and/or  imbecilic potential employees. Similiar to a multiple choice test; the answers being Strongly Agree, Agree, Neutral, Disagree, and Strongly Disagree. (I believe you have to be a complete ‘tard not to be able to pass one of these.)

So one of the questions on my little assessment sheet : “I find it acceptable to take small amounts of money from the register when I don’t feel I am getting paid enough.” I don’t know what kind of moron would actually mark “”Strongly Agree” or even less passionately “Agree”. If you are trying to get a job, I don’t think it’s a good idea to tell your potential employer you plan on stealing. I don’t really know what else to say about that.

Another question: “If I have a disagreement with a co-worker, I try to resolve it in a fair and pleasant manner.” As much as I wanted to put a side-note on this one stating, “When I disagree with a co-worker, the bastard better keep the fuck outta my way, or they may find me behind their car when they leave and obtain the beating that’s coming to them.” However, I decided a friendly approach would better suit.

Question #3: “When I see a co-worker doing something the wrong way, I

A.Tell them they are doing it wrong.

B.Tell my manager.

C.Fix it myself.

D.Complain to other co-workers about it.

This one I may have gotten wrong, because I chose all of the above.

Question #4: “When a new employee is hired, I

A.Try to get them involved in team activities.

B.Invite them to join me outside of work.

C.Ignore them.

D. Gossip with them.”

This was another tricky one. I will admit, I am not exactly a team player. I tend to do things myself so I know they are done right. But A. seemed to be the answer they were likely looking for. If I don’t like someone, chances are that I will NOT be inviting them to join me outside of work, I will most likely ignore them, and I will be gossiping ABOUT them.

So, obviously I passed my assessment, though how close I was to failing I guess we’ll never know. But when most of the questions pertain to stealing from the company, I don’t know how someone could NOT pass. I WILL say that I am an excellent worker that gets annoyed with dumbshits that can’t do their jobs. I don’t know if that qualifies me as a team player.



Filed under Humor, Life, Money, Uncategorized, Work