I would never write a honey-do list for anyone else, because I am anal and expect things to be done right, so I will always do things myself. But here a few things I need to do in my life:
1.Get a book published.
2.Go to Paris
3. See the Mona Lisa (sadly, when I went to Paris, I didn’t see her because I got lost in the Louvre)
4. Own a Mustang (car, not horse)
5. Live in a castle
6. Become a Rockstar
7. Have my own clothing, make-up, and shoe lines (emulating Betsey Johnson, Not that annoying Simpson girl)
8. Give a piano concert
9. Finish the stupid bear painting I started for my Rockstar that I have come to despise.
10. Be featured in an art gallery (either for painting, photography, or general fabulousness)
11. Win an Oscar
12. Meet Dolly Parton
13. Write and Illustrate at least one children’s book.
14. See the Alice in Wonderland statue in Central Park
15. Ride a bull in the rodeo
16. Do one night of stand-up comedy
17. Get married
18. Get divorced (Ok, this was never on my to-do list, but I did it anyway)
19. Kiss Angelina Jolie
20. Give Christopher Meloni a booby-smushin’ hug
21. Play a victim on Law and Order SVU
22. Give a sermon
23. Own a bookstore
24. Paint the many self-portraits I have envisioned in my head
25. Sky-dive
26. Be a stripper for a night
27. Be one of the models on at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show special
28. Join the Armed Forces (this one is tricky because if I’m going to do it, I better hurry up, sadly, I have been informed I must lose 46 lbs.)
29. Be a WWE diva (in some opinions, #26 and #29 could be one in the same)
30. See God
31. See Martina Mcbride in concert (I have done so 3 times)
32. See Black Stone Cherry in concert.
33. See Iron Maiden in concert.
34. Go to Sturgis for Bike Week. (And meet Jesse James from Jackyl)
35. Go to Mardis Gras and flash my boobies.
36. See Steel Panther in Vegas.
Sparklebumpsthebookwhore 
I totally dig so many of these “to do’s” and if you ever get to #21 I’ll be all over your SVU guest star fan club 🙂
Awesome! At least I’ll have one fan!
Pingback: “Lieb”-erate Me | sparklebumpsthebookwhore
I’ve nominated you for the Glitter E. Yanus Award!!!
That sounds incredibly dirty!
LOVE your blog. You are a funny dame. And I really love the fact that one of your goals is to write and illustrate a Children’s Book… because we share the same dream.
My first Children’s Book is being published February 29th, 2012. It’s called Pete the Popcorn and it’s a corny story about popping up! I can’t take credit for the illustrations…. an awesome lady took care of that for me. But the story is from my childish mind.
Please check it out at http://www.PeteThePopcorn.com I appreciate every forward, re-post, re-tweet, Facebook like, etc. etc. etc. If my marketing scheme works, I can crack the Amazon TOP 100 on February 29th… and then I’ll share my plan with you when you’re ready to publish!
Have a good one and take care.
Nick
Ahhhhh, another Law and Order SVU fan I see. My goal is to own all of the seasons. 🙂
Aaannndd I might not be able to much help with the “owning” of a Mustang, but I could hook you up with a ride in one. My BF happens to own a custom decorated black Mustang so aptly named Black Widow.
Ooh! I would love to see it! But I HAVE taken a few test drives in Mustangs, so unless he wants to sell it to me, I’d best not ride in it… I might steal it.
That is a very honorable goal. 🙂
I’m going to say something bad, very bad… but getting lost in the Louvre is as good as seeing the Mona Lisa. She’s covered in humans anyway. Other paintings deserve as much attention as she gets, I think. She’s not the only pretty girl hanging there…
Yeah, I saw a couple of other hot chics while I was there…