Honey-Do List

I would never write a honey-do list for anyone else, because I am anal and expect things to be done right, so I will always do things myself. But here a few things I need to do in my life:

1.Get a book published.

2.Go to Paris

3. See the Mona Lisa (sadly, when I went to Paris, I didn’t see her because I got lost in the Louvre)

4. Own a Mustang (car, not horse)

5. Live in a castle

6. Become a Rockstar

7. Have my own clothing, make-up, and shoe lines (emulating Betsey Johnson, Not that annoying Simpson girl)

8. Give a piano concert

9. Finish the stupid bear painting I started for my Rockstar that I have come to despise.

10. Be featured in an art gallery (either for painting, photography, or general fabulousness)

11. Win an Oscar

12. Meet Dolly Parton

13. Write and Illustrate at least one children’s book.

14. See the Alice in Wonderland statue in Central Park

15. Ride a bull in the rodeo

16. Do one night of stand-up comedy

17. Get married

18. Get divorced (Ok, this was never on my to-do list, but I did it anyway)

19. Kiss Angelina Jolie

20. Give Christopher Meloni a booby-smushin’ hug

21. Play a victim on Law and Order SVU

22. Give a sermon

23. Own a bookstore

24. Paint the many self-portraits I have envisioned in my head

25. Sky-dive

26. Be a stripper for a night

27. Be one of the models on at the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show special

28. Join the Armed Forces (this one is tricky because if I’m going to do it, I better hurry up, sadly, I have been informed I must lose 46 lbs.)

29. Be a WWE diva (in some opinions, #26 and #29 could be one in the same)

30. See God

31. See Martina Mcbride in concert (I have done so 3 times)

32. See Black Stone Cherry in concert.

33. See Iron Maiden in concert.

34. Go to Sturgis for Bike Week. (And meet Jesse James from Jackyl)

35. Go to Mardis Gras and flash my boobies.

36. See Steel Panther in Vegas.

12 responses to “Honey-Do List

  1. I totally dig so many of these “to do’s” and if you ever get to #21 I’ll be all over your SVU guest star fan club 🙂

  2. Pingback: “Lieb”-erate Me | sparklebumpsthebookwhore

  3. I’ve nominated you for the Glitter E. Yanus Award!!!

  4. LOVE your blog. You are a funny dame. And I really love the fact that one of your goals is to write and illustrate a Children’s Book… because we share the same dream.

    My first Children’s Book is being published February 29th, 2012. It’s called Pete the Popcorn and it’s a corny story about popping up! I can’t take credit for the illustrations…. an awesome lady took care of that for me. But the story is from my childish mind.

    Please check it out at http://www.PeteThePopcorn.com I appreciate every forward, re-post, re-tweet, Facebook like, etc. etc. etc. If my marketing scheme works, I can crack the Amazon TOP 100 on February 29th… and then I’ll share my plan with you when you’re ready to publish!

    Have a good one and take care.


  5. Ahhhhh, another Law and Order SVU fan I see. My goal is to own all of the seasons. 🙂

  6. I’m going to say something bad, very bad… but getting lost in the Louvre is as good as seeing the Mona Lisa. She’s covered in humans anyway. Other paintings deserve as much attention as she gets, I think. She’s not the only pretty girl hanging there…

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