Aright, My Lovelys. I will write something useful today. I seemed to get a surplus of comments from my little smut writings; however, I don’t want to entirely alienate my readers who won’t admit they liked it. (I know who you are)
Today I must share with you the amazing discovery that I made while I was at work last night. After working for a little over a month as a Pizza Slut, I have figured out that I shall never hunger. Especially since the cooks we have employed at my store tend to goof quite a bit. Not a day goes by at work when I am not surrounded by extra deliciousness such as cheesey breadsticks (awesome with ranch dressing), stuffed-crust pizza (also awesome with ranch dressing), and garlic bread. (not great without ranch.) Now, I’ve been informed by my Rockstar that excessive feedings of cheese and bread can wreak havoc on your digestional system, or in his words, “You won’t be able to shit for a week.” (What a way with words he has.) and my palate is getting…somewhat bored of pizza anyway. So yesterday, I decided to order a little thing called Hershey Dunkers. (or as I have renamed them, Hershey Orgasm.)
If you have never experienced these, I urge you right at this moment to call up your local Pizza Slut store and order some. Right now. Because you will not be sorry. I was a little bit skeptical at first, especially when the cook making my Orgasm said, “These are so gross, why would you want to order them?” She let me know her opinion was so strong simply because they are so rich and sweet. My mouth was watering as they made their way through the pizza oven, as the odor of melting chocolate permeated the entire store.
I will describe them for you. It is really just breadsticks, but instead of putting seasoning salt on top, they are doused in butter and then covered with crumbly Hershey chocolatey goodness. They come with dipping sauce, and are amazing.
The moment I took my first bite, I knew my world would never be the same. The melt-in-your-mouth scrumptiousness made me wonder how I could ever eat anything else ever again. I ordered a double order, intent on bringing some home for my Rockstar. There weren’t many left after I got done…
I see much chocolate and many pounds in my future.
*Homer Simpson drooly sound* mmm Chocolate…
I think I turn INTO Homer Simpson when these things are around…
I will live vicariously through you in this instance..unless Pizza Slut jumps on the bandwagon and comes out with GF varieties.
Hmm…I wonder if I could make my own. I did just see some GF breadsticks at Cash Wise.
I would like a chocolate induced orgasm darn it.
Yes, we must figure out a way for you to climax from chocolate!
Hells yeah! When I worked at Pizza Hut I’d occasionally work the buffet, and there was a peanut butter and jelly pizza, apple fritter pizza, cinnamon roll pizza…. so much good…. THAT’S IT! I’m going to Pizza Hut for lunch tomorrow. I just read 3 blogs in a row from you where you mentioned Pizza Hut, and I haven’t been in a while, and I’m going. And you’ve been a busy little beaver today, haven’t you, with 3 blogs? (Jesus, did that sound creepy, or what? Because that’s what I was going for.)
Yes, my beaver is always busy. My Rockstar says I have a problem. 😉
Your pizza shop never closes?
Thay are closed in the nite. Why?
I don’t have much of a sweet tooth, but those sound amazing.
They are almost as amazing as you, H.E. 😉
Is congress going to make these a vegetable as well?
They really should.
I had trouble getting past “my palate is getting…somewhat bored of pizza.” That’s not computing.
I wouldn’t have thought it possible either. If they made the pizzas without sauce, I would never be bored.
We need to stockpile some Hershey Orgasms in the bunker so we’ll have sustenance when we’re hiding from the feds for dirty texting!
That’s what I was thinking. 🙂
that reminds me of the cookie dough flautas at tiajuana flats!!!! so obsessed!!! chocolate is LIFE. xxoo<33
I must go there someday…
Has Paula Deen taken over your body?
Rob, the mainland
No, but I wouldn’t mind if one of her sons TOOK my body….;)
For real! Butter did their bodies GOOD!
I love butter…